Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, wondering what it was exactly to be a certain age.
Well now, I know. I am that thing. In fact it's quite definite now. I am a woman of a certain age.
Still, I expect you want to know how I have come to know this?
Actually, it was all the subtle (or not so subtle) hints to begin with. Things young people would say like "there were a lot of people your age there", and then proceed to tell me about the number of zimmer frames they saw in the entrance hall to the event in question.
Then it was my students saying things like "Oh our stats professor's really old. He must be in his fifties now, you know, like you?"
They never noticed my pained look.
Then finally, the references became more direct. I think it was either one of my daughters or their partners who said recently, "when women like you get to a certain age, they........". I remember the expression freezing on my face. I never even heard the rest of what it was they were going to tell me. It was the dreaded words 'a certain age' that did it. That was when I realised I was there and I had to face the fact.
To young people, being a certain age means that you are old; to slightly older people, it mean that you are older than them; and to tactful people of your own age, it means you are old like them but they don't want to mention it. Simple, but a tad humbling when you realise that you are, in fact, the last person to have realised it.
Still, it has certain advantages and one of these is having legitimate CRAFT moments. I may have mentioned these before, but being of a certain age, I have now conveniently forgotten this, because in fact I have a lot of CRAFT moments as a result. In case you too have forgotten, or maybe because I have never actually mentioned it at all (not being able to recall these things), a CRAFT moment is an acronym for 'can't remember a flipping thing'.
I have them with increasing frequency (if that's possible and not tautology). CRAFT can happen within the space of seconds. Someone will tell me something in conversation and within moments I am earnestly asking them a question about what they have just told me. When they look at me oddly, I usually remember what I have just forgotten and put it airily down to CRAFT. When they look at me even more oddly, I mutter something about pottery to cover up the moment. Pottery, potty, nuts. You can almost see the word association flitting across their faces, so then I just tell them with as much disarming candour as I can muster:
"Yes, my dear, I am a woman of a certain age and I can't remember an effing..oops, I mean flipping... thing. You'll be there one of these days, and then you'll understand the real meaning of the word CRAFT."
You'd be surprised (or maybe not) at how quickly they change the subject. I mean, it's one thing to label a woman as being of 'a certain age', but it's quite another when they have to accept the CRAFT that goes with it. But I have, and you know something? I don't mind. I am, (how you say), a certain age indeed.
And this photo has nothing to do with anything and I can't remember why I took it, but I like it anyway. I kind of feel it's me in it's chaotic informality, being a crafter and that :)